What’s on your F**k It List? We expand our lists from last year and share tips for making and updating your own list.
Heads up that this episode contains swearing.
Let’s revisit the The F**k It List!
We recorded an episode on this topic back in February 2021, a year into the pandemic, when we were reevaluating our priorities – and deciding how we want to spend our precious time and energy going forward.
Making a F**k It List is a fun and liberating exercise. Think of it as the anti-Bucket List. Instead of “Things to do before you die,” it’s “Things to stop doing so you can fully live.”
The F**k It List can also be an alternative to short-term goal lists or resolutions. It’s a list of things that we may have done out of obligation, or optics, or in service of goals we used to have, but we are consciously letting go of, because we get to decide.
It’s intended to be a living document that we get to add to and adapt over time as our perspective and circumstances change. And with everything going on in the world and in our lives, now seemed like an excellent time to revisit and add to our lists.
Melia’s F**k It List
Here is Melia’s original list from last year:
- Committing my time to things I don’t want to do – I get to decide
- Leaving the dregs of myself for my family and creative work
- Being fluent in current events
- Showing up as a “pulled together” person
- Aspiring to perfection – still working on this!
Melia’s new additions to her F**k It List:
- What’s non-essential
- Feeling like I need to learn to operate like a neurotypical person to thrive
- To have a successful business, you need to do x, y, and z
- You should read a variety of books and give your brain a break with some fiction
- It’s okay to express myself fully, however that happens to look
Gill’sF**k It List
Here is Gill’s original list:
- Investing in relationships that drain my energy/ don’t bring out the best in me
- Saying “yes” when I want to say “no”
- Only treating my paid work like it’s worthy of my time
- The idea of perfection
- Made-up deadlines (things I “should” achieve by a certain age)
- Toxic hustle culture
Gill’s new additions to her F**k It List:
- Pretending everything is ok
- Explaining or justifying my boundaries
- Not valuing my mental health as much as my physical health
- Blindly following advice or rules
- Postponing joy
Here’s how to make your own F**k It List. We suggest writing it down! It’s so much more concrete and memorable – and writing on pen and paper tends to surface more raw emotion and subconscious thoughts than typing on a computer.
1. List all of the things you are currently doing that drain your energy, including those that are important but not your strengths. For example: if you’re participating in a volunteer role, club, or going to every event your friends invite you to.
- Overall, you’re trying to figure out, “Does doing this bring me closer to the life I want?” It can be hard to know that without digging a little deeper, so if you’re not sure, evaluate each item by asking yourself:
- Why am I doing this?
- Is this the best use of my time and talents – is this in line with my priorities right now? (e.g. resting and healing)
- Am I worried what other people will think if I don’t do it? Or that I’ll feel guilty or ashamed if I don’t?
- Is there a way to stop doing it or change the way I’m doing it that will honor any commitments? (e.g. hiring out tasks if you have the budget)
2. Another approach to generate your F**k It List is looking back at your previous lists of goals and see if there’s anything to move to the F**k It List. Does this serve my current values and priorities?
3. Remember: your list is not written in stone. The items on your list may change, but for now… F**k all of ‘em!
Get In Touch
What’s on your F**k It List?
We’d love to hear items on your list. Tell us at firstname.lastname@example.org or send us a voice memo.
- Episode 65: How to Show Up for People in Tough Times
- Episode 66: Poetry that Helps Us Feel It All
- Episode 14: Regrets and Should-Haves
- Episode 64: Building Joy & Meaning into Every Day
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- Set Boundaries, Find Peace, by Nedra Glover Tawwab
- Self Magazine: ‘Fat’ Isn’t a Bad Word—It’s Just the Way I Describe My Body, by Your Fat Friend (Aubrey Gordon)
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