50

The F**k It List

Think of the F**k It List as the anti-Bucket List. Instead of “Things to do before you die,” it’s “Things to stop doing so you can fully live.”

This is episode 50! It’s been one of our greatest joys to do this podcast. We’re proud to reach this milestone and grateful that you take the time to listen.

Listener Feedback

We wanted to share some listener feedback on Episode 48: Are You a Scanner or a Diver? From our loyal listener and Patreon supporter Katie: 

“I always look forward to your episodes and I’m never disappointed.  I loved your conversation today about being a “Scanner” versus a “Diver.”  I think you’re right that there’s a lot of pressure for people in our culture to be Divers, especially when it comes to career.  But I loved your reminders that there are a lot of positive qualities that come with both tendencies.  Thought-provoking and informative as usual!”

When Katie was 27, she took a career planning class at the local community college and said:

“I found it extremely helpful in providing some structure around discerning what I wanted to do career-wise.  I was very tortured at the time because I felt like I was getting “old” (ha! How silly we are as 27-yr-olds), and I felt “behind” in figuring out my life’s path. 

My teacher’s philosophy of taking small, manageable steps to follow your interests without fixating on an end goal was exactly what I needed at that time. Ultimately, the wisdom I gained from her class gave me the courage to follow my curiosity, even when I had no idea where it would lead me.” 

By following her interest and curiosity, she ended up on a career path within social work and therapy that she really enjoys. Katie loved her instructor, Kathleen Mitchell, and highly recommends the workbook she wrote: The Unplanned Career: How to Turn Curiosity Into Opportunity. 

The F**k It List

We discuss the concept of The F**k It List. Think of it as the anti-Bucket List. Instead of “Things to do before you die,” it’s “Things to stop doing so you can fully live.” It’s a list of things that don’t bring you closer to the life you want, and therefore bring you further away from it.

The F**k It List can include big or small things that you may have done out of obligation, or optics, or in service of goals you used to have, but you are consciously letting go of. Because you get to decide!  

We share some of the items on our current lists, then talk about how you can make your own. 

We suggest writing it down. It’s so much more concrete and memorable – and writing on pen and paper tends to surface more raw emotion and subconscious thoughts than typing on a computer.

  • List all of the things you are currently doing that make you unhappy. 
  • Overall, remember that you’re trying to figure out: “Does doing this bring me closer to the life I want?” It can be hard to know that without digging a little deeper, so if you’re not sure, evaluate each item by asking yourself:
    • Why am I doing this?  
    • Is this the best use of my time and talents? Does it help me make my highest contribution to the world?
    • Am I worried what other people will think if I don’t do it? Or that I’ll feel guilty or ashamed if I don’t? 
    • Is there a way to stop doing it or change the way I’m doing it that will honor any commitments? 
  • Other approaches to generate your Fuck it list:
    • Look back at your 20 for 2020 goals list and see if there’s anything to move to the F**k It List.
      • Does this serve your current goals? 
    • Make a list of what your ideal self looks like compared with your present self
      • Where are you willing to put in the work to close the gaps?

Again, it’s not written in stone; this stuff may change when we go back into the world or circumstances change, but for now… F**k it!

Get It Together / Got It Together

We each share something that we’d like to work on and something that’s going well for us right now.

Melia Get It Together: Being compassionate with Evan when he has ADHD meltdowns

Melia’s Got It Together: Staying calmer and investing lots of time and resources helping him manage his ADHD

Gill’s Get It Together: Getting frustrated for things taking longer than they “should” 

Gill’s Got It Together: Setting up “recharge” stations in the living room

Get In Touch

What is on your F**k It List? We really want to hear about your list.Email us at podcast[at]semitogether.com or send us a voice memo.

If you haven’t already, take a moment to subscribe to Semi-Together or leave us a rating or review. You can also support the podcast through Patreon at patreon.com/semitogether.

Resources